Watching my Children interact with each other...watching the Twins develop. As Twins and as Individuals and watching my Son's face glow when he's with them. Summer has just started waving and saying hello, she waved at him today and i'm pretty sure his heart skipped a beat.
As i mentioned previously, all my concerns about having Twins did fade away and if i had my choice in the matter, i wouldn't change a thing. They have changed my world. I AM the happiest i have ever been. I am completely smitten with my children, i've noticed i just can't pull myself away from them, I can't stop watching them, studying them. Is this normal or am I alone here?
Okay, so maybe i'm sounding sickly sweet so don't get me wrong, my life is NOT perfect.
I am alone alot, i mean without adult company. I am currently working very hard to develop new friendships and new routines. My friends and I (as they say) are living on parallel lines. While we have the love and adoration for eachother and a strong history which i believe at this point helps keep us together, we are all Mothers and have a hard time getting together. I find it very difficult to make new friends, I find it very hurtful when i reach out and am ignored or brushed aside like i don't matter. I know people are busy but seriously it takes ZERO effort to respond these days. You don't even have to pick up the phone. Maybe all this autonomous technology makes people forget to consider actual real life human feelings. I am outside my comfort zone here, I don't have a thick skin, by any means. I rely on my parents alot, especially my mum, not for help alone but for sanity and companionship, it took us a long time to get here, but we're in a really great place, she is the Nanna to my children, that i remember having. We talk almost everyday. I couldn't live without her. My husband is on afternoon shift and as such we are like ships passing in the night. With little money, few friends available for a visit and twin bubbas to look after, I find myself trapped on the couch...I HATE MY COUCH! I've become a little exhausted from wanting to do things, wanting to go places.
So today, i got off my arse.
The girls went down just before i took Sean to Kindy. Hubby was home. So i dusted off the joggers, got my iphone and headphones and went for a walk. A fast walk...without a pram. It was so freeing, I was soaring, I was in my own headspace, with my own music. I found that spring in my step. I needed a bigger hill to climb, what always seemed so big i conquered so quickly, it was great. I had so much energy when i got home. I hope i can do it again tomorrow. Actually if i can work it right I can ride my bike to Sean's kindy, we have a child seat on the back of it for him, i don't think we've ever used and on Thursday, i am starting Zumba. I'm so looking forward to it, i LOVE Zumba, i was doing classes when i found out i was pregnant, I was going to continue at a steady pace but then i found out it was twins and i couldn't do it anymore. A daytime class, while my husband is home to look after the Twins. Yes!
I can feel the change already. Watch this space.
Kristy xx
So proud of you ♥ Small changes is way to go, you are more likely to stick to them rather than trying everything at once. I think its a great idea to ride with Sean. I started riding to work every now and then when I didn't have the kids and I absolutely loved it - doing something for me, having my own freedom and not having to stop and wait for the kids to catch up! lol
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteBeing Kristy's oldest cousin (45)it's difficult not critique the younger relations lives. Older people vainly think they know it all. Although I don't see Kristy that often, her blog is a great example of how she has wisdom beyond her years. She is intouch with her feelings and has the ability to see what needs to be done to survive whilst putting her loved ones before herself. "Getting off the Couch" was inspirational cousin - I really think you could be anything! Go Girl.
Love David