Something wrong with me????

I find myself on the phone to my bestie often saying, "Something is wrong with me. I have no energy, I am always tired, I should go to the doctors." Well...waking up this morning to an empty house was... disconcerting. I was totally at a loss for what to do. So I just sat down and watch weekend sunrise and had a coffee. Ahhhhhh.

P.S I slept in to 8am (thats a 2.5hr sleep in!)

After an hour of being awake, curiousity got the better of me and I rang my Parents (who are looking after my little treasures). While they love the kids and having them over, my Mother says to me. "Your Father was watching me last night and just kept asking me if i was ok, because I just never stopped," she continued, "I said to him, I can see why Kristy is always exhausted, why she needed a break."

I offered to come and get them if they were too much (half of me wanted them back, the other half needs the break) but she wouldn't hear of it.

People always ask me how do you do it? Or say, I couldn't do that. (Which usually has me rolling my eyes).

As if there is a choice in the matter and I absolutely wouldn't swap my life for anything in the world. I am not it the most hectic of situations, I don't have the biggest family. I am aware of that. But the simple truth of having 2yr old Twins who aren't in any daycare is:  You just can't stop...EVER. You've just always got to be on the ball. When you are teaching Twin 1, Twin 2 is upto something. When you catch her in the act and tell her that its wrong, Twin 1 has usually picked up the gauntlet and continue on the path of destruction Twin 2 has created....you see where this is going right?

Case and point

This is permanent lol, i now know the ins and outs of my laptop keyboard and how they are all attached but these are actually broken from being ripped off repeatedly by the tag team. The space bar and the S take about 3 hits to work. I am currently trying to source a new keyboard panel for my laptop....and a lock.

Sean, is now at the age where he is mostly on "Team Mum" for the time being anyway. He helps me a bit and lets me know when they are upto mischief. Sean has always been an easy one, listens, does the right thing. If anything the Twins lead his astray a bit these days. But i'm all over that.

So far having the Twins has been the most difficult but rewarding, exhilarating and exhausting experience of my life. Watching them bond and watching Sean's bond with them grow is the most heartwarming thing to watch. He is a great, supporting and loving big brother.

So I'm thinking theres probably really nothing wrong with me. I'm just always going, when they sleep, I get to do dishes (i don't have a dishwasher) and washing and cleaning and cooking etc...Lucky hey?

On top of it all I've been living with/fighting a throat infection for just over 3wks now which feels like a constant state of tonsilitis. Sean had a nasal infection, which became a chest infection then Summer got a bad cough/cold, then Lily got it too. Not altogether just one week after the other for the last 4 wks.

My husband is out tonight. I am looking forward to some ME time. I am going to dye my hair, paint my nails, give myself a facial and watch some cheesey chick flicks....probably be in bed by 7. (lol just kidding)

So while i am ALWAYS flogged, I am always content and I wouldn't change a thing.

Let's Start Nnnnow

Last year i started at the Gym and it took me a while to catch up with my eating habits. I had to start a food diary which helped me realise how much i was actually putting in. I was grazing way more that i realised. Just before the Christmas holidays my body finally kicked into gear and I was losing weight and gaining strength and self confidence. Then the holidays came and we relaxed a lot and ate out a lot and drank often. Long story short, I have gained that weight back (and then some). I am the heaviest I have been since before I had the twins and I am detemined to lose it again.

Oh well, whats done is done, it was a great holiday and totally worth it. I am not ruined for it. I am determined to follow the path I was heading down. Before Christmas led me astray.

Today, I hit the reset button. Whilst I have been back to the gym, I need to restart my food diary to work out where I am going wrong again and maybe push a little harder at the Gym. We are starting today with 3 Meat Days as set out in the "Bodytrim" Program. This resets your body into a fat burning machine and also eliminates ALL cravings if you follow it strictly, which I intend to do. Its very hard, but totally worth it.

Here. We. Go.