I am no Doctor and i won't pretend to be. But. I think its fair to say, throughout the generations, various family members, have suffered from addictive and (dare i say it?) dark personalities. Lately,in the last 3 months. I feel the darkness creeping up on me. At THAT time of month. I have been spiralling deeper and darker with each passing month. It has made me question everything about my life as it stands. Doubting everything i have and everything i've done. I thought i was really lost this last month. It really scared me and I think my husband.
Thank fully, I have paid attention to those loved ones around me, who have suffered our lovely family history of, er, mental stabitilty.(Yes, sarcasm at play) and I know I have an addictive personality. But. I have vowed NOT to follow in anyone's footsteps. Since my Son was born I have changed alot and as he is now aware of what goes on around him, I have changed even more, for the better. I am setting out a new path for my children to follow. I will not drink, I will not take Drugs and if i need help, I WILL ask for it.
I have discovered the Gym. I have been before of course, but not like this. This is different. If i can make this my addiction, then i know i will be safe. I feel great after going, bubbly even. I'm no going just to lose weight, though of course it is a goal. I am going to make myself stronger and fitter and happier and its already happening. Having the 3 kids, it is giving me an opportunity to have some time to get into my own head and think. I think it will help with that darkness i feel tapping at my shoulder. So far, it is helping us...very well. Jonathon has joined now too and it seems to be making him much happier too. We are talking about the future now and trying to sort out new goals for our new lifestyle.
A New Chapter......
